Professora Amélia

A sad farewell...

Dateline March 2026

Of all the things we hoped to experience while interacting and integrating with native Portuguese people, a funeral was never on our bingo card.

We mentioned that we are part of the O Groupo Coral dos Professores do Porto, the Porto Teachers Choir. They have warmly welcomed us, as is their nature, always being patient with us and helpful despite our halting language skills. One very special person was Amélia – a math teacher in her day, with a sweet smile and gentle disposition.

Alas, things happen. Amélia passed away quite unexpectedly. She was vibrant, full of life one day with no thoughts of the end being so close, then literally gone the next. Thankfully, with no apparent suffering. The shock to the choir was substantial. It was difficult to process this event. However, even as new members to the group, we were completely accepted into the collective grieving process, finding strength in one another.

It was Amélia who always made sure Katie was included in group events, with a smile and a hand reaching out to welcome her. At a post-concert dinner with the Coimbra choir, at the Magusto (see our previous write up ), at the Carnaval (that’s how it is spelled here) Celebration and so many other times.

When the choir visited a museum in Arcos de Valdavez, Steve spent some time talking with the docent, while others had moved along to lunch. As a result, he was late joining the group. At the same time, a child had run into a wall (don’t ask), and while not grievously injured, an ambulance had come to the scene. Katie, putting 2 and 2 together and coming up with 7, assumed the ambulance was for Steve, and was “having a canary”. It was Amélia who gently took Katie by the arm and walked with her to calm her down. Such was her kindness and gentleness. For Katie especially, her passing will always be a profound loss.

We attended the both the wake (valório) and the funeral (funebre). There were some differences and similarities from our previous experiences. The human remains in this instance, unlike in the US (our only vantage point), were released to the church mortuary and not to a funeral home. The church had a separate mortuary capella with a viewing room with seats for the family and friends. Had we not known we were on church grounds; this would have been indistinguishable from a funeral home. As in the US, there was crying, hugging, hushed conversation and sharing remembrances. We observed that most of the flowers for the funeral were white, and most people brought a small arrangement that was placed by hand around the casket. In the US, flowers are much more ornate and usually sent by a delivery service. As this was our first experience (and hopefully last), we went with what we know, and had an arrangement sent. Our sentiments were not wrong, but now we know.

A Roman Catholic funeral mass was held in the church sanctuary the next day. It was shorter than a regular mass (in duration), with much singing, no need for hymnals or missalettes; and of course, in Portuguese. The church (originally dated to the XII century (or earlier) and rebuilt in 1845) was small and beautifully ornate. As a final touch, white Gerbera daisies were provided for individuals to gently lay around Amélia in her casket as the mass came to a close. This was something new to us and we don’t know if it is common or not.

All in all, a fitting way to usher her out.

This was a very hard journey, but it meant a lot to us that we have had the opportunity not only to experience how our Portuguese friends share life but also how they share death.

Querida Amélia – Já sentimos a tua falta. Sabes que apreciámos imenso a tua amizade — especialmente quando fomos cantar com o coro. Recordaremos sempre o teu sorriso e o teu ânimo. Descansa em paz após uma vida bem vivida.

1946 - 2026

Dearest Amélia – We already miss you. Know that we immensely appreciated your friendship, especially when we came to sing with the choir. We will always remember your smile and your liveliness. Rest in peace after a life well lived.